State Department Hosting Business Conference

February 21, 2012

Tags: Clinton, Economy
Posted in: Embassy/State

The State Department will convene its largest business conference ever today, bringing together representatives from over 100 countries to discuss how the U.S. government can help them succeed. State wants to leverage the U.S. diplomatic presence around the world to help American companies increase exports, and encourage foreign direct investment in the United States, all part of Hillary Clinton’s economic statecraft agenda, as she announced in a speech last October.

The foreign delegates (most attendees are actually Americans, not that this is an election year focused on the crappy economy or anything), meeting before the actual conference in the Foggy Bottom Dunkin Donuts, were initially concerned that State wouldn’t have coffee and snacks available, and so were stocking up. They also discussed among themselves what they would like from the US, as overheard by our blog correspondent:

–Less drones overall please.

–More visas. That’s about it, thanks.

–Don’t invade us, kill our citizens, render them, torture them, or hold them without trial in secret prisons.

–Oh yeah, don’t grab our junk in the airport. Also, can TSA “find” my iPad they “inspected” and did not return?

–More visas. Really, that will pretty much do it. Could Hillary ask Bill, this is really important.

–If you grant “Most Favored Nation” status to lots of countries, how can we believe we’re really the “most” favored? This seems wrong.

–Will the State Department pick up our hotel charges for in-room movies please? And it is true, right, that no matter what movie, it’ll just say “movie” on the bill, no title, right?

–It’d be cool if Americans spoke our languages, but really, if all some fat guy is gonna do is repeat “Ni hao! Ni hao!” over and over through the meal, it is probably better if we just stick with English for now.

–If we buy Chinese stuff from Amazon does that count?

–If every time someone says “social media” we have to put a Euro in the jar, we can have a helluva after party.

–What exactly does the US actually make or manufacture anymore besides weapons and fast foods? Do you guys have like a list we could see?

–Anybody heading to Dulles before lunch?

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