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Great Moments in Public Diplomacy, No. 342
No one can say that the State Department isn’t making the most of Twitter in its pubic diplomacy efforts. Actually, no one can say it, because they’ll get fired if they do.
Let’s look at some of today’s State Department Twitter while it is still running down the inside of America’s thigh:
Oooooh, Biden on Iraq. A lot going on there, renewal of Sunni bombing of Shia pilgrims, bloodiest day of 2012 so far, whither the Malaki power struggle, what’s going on with McGurk’s nomination, etc.
So I hit the jump on State’s Tweet to soak it all in and here’s the “read out” in full:
The Vice President today hosted a periodic Cabinet-level meeting on Iraq. Participants discussed the current political situation in Iraq and recent progress toward implementing the U.S.-Iraq Strategic Framework Agreement in two areas that are central to our partnership: security cooperation and energy cooperation. The Vice President, and all participants, also condemned the violence that occurred in Iraq today and offered their condolences to the Iraqi people.
Um, guys? Credibility is key to succeeding in social media. You want someone other than your boss to read what you write, ‘kay? Please try again.
So here’s another State Department Tweet:
Alright! The good old State Department is out there helping Americans find jobs, a bully idea in an election year. They say they are producing “real results for the America people” so let’s hit the jump and see what those real results are…
(sound of tumbleweed rolling across screen)
After the jump, you end up on a State page glorifying the Dear Leader (Hillary this time) and including one of her speeches where she claims “Our diplomatic efforts are producing real returns for the American people and building a more prosperous future for our economic partners.”
There is… not… one… example. None.
Instead, we learn that the State Department is going to spend a bunch of tax money to hold “Global Economic Statecraft Day” parties at all its embassies. This is a made-up special day, kind of like National Eat More Citrus Day. What’ll happen as a result of all these lovely parties? Hillary lists the robust plans: “public dialogue, a partnership announcement, or a meeting to discuss export opportunities.”
I don’t have a crazy man’s dictionary at hand, but my definition of producing real results seems different than having dialogues, making announcements or holding a meeting.” I’d like a job please, ma’am, instead.
No wonder I can’t seem to succeed at State. I just don’t get social media.
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jhoover said...
1A lot going on there, renewal of Sunni bombing of Shia pilgrims,
Are they sure not Drone over there guided from USA?
06/15/12 12:55 AM | Comment Link
Meloveconsullongtime said...
2Here’s a primer on social media, except without any depictions of US Consular staff getting their dicks stuck in honeypots. In particular see 0:40 ff, “I’M ON TWITTER! I’M ON TWITTER!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HnS_W2zA4E
06/15/12 6:16 AM | Comment Link
Meloveconsullongtime said...
3Meanwhile there’s this:
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/state-department-purges-religious-freedom-section-its-human-rights-reports
“The U.S. State Department removed the sections covering religious freedom from the Country Reports on Human Rights that it released on May 24, three months past the statutory deadline Congress set for the release of these reports.
The new human rights reports–purged of the sections that discuss the status of religious freedom in each of the countries covered–are also the human rights reports that include the period that covered the Arab Spring and its aftermath.
Thus, the reports do not provide in-depth coverage of what has happened to Christians and other religious minorities in predominantly Muslim countries in the Middle East that saw the rise of revolutionary movements in 2011 in which Islamist forces played an instrumental role.”
…in contrast to this, Hillary Clinton’ Sate Department regarding the sensitivities of sexual deviants (such as Afghan warlords who bugger teenage boys) as a higher priority than protecting Christians from being exterminated:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjY1-2Qoucc&feature=player_embedded
06/15/12 7:23 AM | Comment Link
Frederick Fellow said...
4This is hilarious! “We Meant Well” is Dilbert for the State Department. Keep it coming, man. You should get someone to do illustrations. As your blog and book have demonstrated, life at the State Department is a total cartoon. The place is super rich with satire. And then there’s the Secret Service. Talk about government gone awry. You gotta have a sense of humor for this stuff. With so many of our agency “emperors” not wearing any clothes, Congress should officially declare Washington, DC as a nudist colony. Only in America, baby!
06/15/12 6:05 PM | Comment Link
Meloveconsullongtime said...
5Two unrelated comments re all the above:
1. As I’ve been under the impression that Mr Van Buren is either homosexual or otherwise sympathetic to “gay rights”, I’m impressed that he published my above comment in which I called homosexuals “sexual deviants”. Which in fact they are, although that fact should not compromise their equal rights under the law. Anyway, I’m impressed by Peter’s non-conformity with the dogmas of the American Empire.
2. Re Frederick’s comment “Congress should officially declare Washington, DC as a nudist colony”, Dr Demento taught me 95 percent of all I need to know!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPXABWpao8M
06/16/12 5:00 PM | Comment Link