• FBI Stops Hilarious Nut Case Death Ray “Terror Plot”

    June 21, 2013

    Tags: , ,
    Posted in: Democracy

    In the wake of the many disclosures of government spying on Americans, followed by half-assed attempts by the same government to prove how many bad terrorists they stopped enroute to monitoring every American Citizen, you’d think the FBI might bring their A-game and announce some big-deal terror plot they stopped. You’d be wrong.

    The FBI instead announced that two New York men have been arrested for the sort-of-make-believe crime of “conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists.”

    The complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Albany states that their scheme was to create a mobile, remotely operated, radiation emitting device “capable of killing targeted individuals silently with lethal doses of X-ray radiation.” The complaint went on to say the two men sought to allegedly use this device against “unwitting victims who would not immediately be aware that they had absorbed lethal doses of radiation, the harmful effects of which would only appear days after the exposure.” Their idea was to put the systems in trucks to be powered through the cigarette lighter.

    I’m no electrician, but the internet says the typical in-car power outlet puts out 120 watts at 12 volts. That seems slightly less than your typical home-made death ray would need– an amazing Google for “portable x-ray death machine” (suck on that NSA) points to Popular Science, who featured a portable x-ray unit safe enough to use at home that needed 75,000 volts.

    Of course the FBI stopped the death ray guys by sending undercover agents to them to promise aid and money if only they’d spill their secrets, which they did. Cost to the taxpayer is unknown. And yes Citizens, these are the people you’re supposed to trust with your personal data, phone calls and snooped emails.

    My biggest fear now is that the FBI will learn of my basement time machine, and send undercover agents pretending to have the flux capacitor I need to complete my work.



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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

  • Recent Comments

    • Rich Bauer said...

      1

      Terrorism using silent means is counter-productive. As the USG used in its terrorism against the Iraqis during our descent into hell, presentation was just as important as the body count – see “Shock and Awe.”

      This “plan” reminds me of the “ingenious” CIA plan to kill its victims with lung cancer using second-hand cigarette smoke but they couldn’t figure out how to stand next to the target for 20 years without drawing suspicion.

      06/21/13 1:06 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      2

      My first reaction is to remember this old ad from the back pages of my comic books of 40 years ago:

      http://www.tomheroes.com/images/COMICAD%20xray%20glasses.JPG

      06/21/13 2:39 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      3

      Fantastical undetected lethal assault scenarios are a clever ploy by the surveillance state. “Homelanders, you have no idea of the hideous plots unbeknownst to you to shrivel your testicles or bake your ovaries by numerous stealthy and devious enemies of America…..”

      06/21/13 2:47 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      4

      My second reaction is to remember when I was six years old I thought spies were like Maxwell Smart.

      For Christmas when I was seven years old – in the era of “Get Smart” – Santa gave me a “Secret Spy Kit” including X-ray goggles and some plastic listening devices. I used them to “spy” on my older teenage sisters, who of course knew exactly what I was doing and regarded me as a puerile nuisance, just like today’s Jihadis regard the FBI.

      But now it seems that the senior officers of today’s FBI (around my age) took “Get Smart” SERIOUSLY and are still MODELING themselves upon him? Jesus H Christ, I outgrew that shit when I was nine years old!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWEvp217Tzw

      06/21/13 2:54 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      5

      And my third reaction is that this story reminds me of ANOTHER short story titled “Scary Smash” – about a one-eyed monster, an irrational terrorist – literally “Written By A Kid”, written by a five year old:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef2wnLL1s00

      06/21/13 3:00 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...

      6

      quote:”Their idea was to put the systems in trucks to be powered through the cigarette lighter.”unquote

      umh…wait..I’m speechless…..(shaking head in disbelief)

      I can’t wait for the moment a FBI agent answers in court…
      DOJ assistant AG prosecutor:
      “Agent Dimwit, can you please explain to the jury just how these maniacal defendants were going to power this alleged device?”
      FBI agent:
      “Well, yes..we told them to power it from the cigarette lighter.”

      whereby..the courtroom explodes in gut splitting laughter.

      ya know, either these fuckwits are addicted to Synthetic Lobotomy Serum..or they’re simply fucking stupid. Judging by this…I’d say it’s the latter. I mean…c’maaaan..a cigarette lighter?

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      this FBI guy is going down as the dumbest humanoid to ever walk this planet. If I were him, I’d blow my brains out. I mean..were talking a skull cavity with a vacuum ..a void..completely fucking empty..

      I know one thing..the FBI is about to get a world wide shellacking…hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

      I can just hear his co workers snickering..

      Agent Bob: “Hey George, did you hear about Agent Dimwit?”
      Agent George:”No, what about him?”
      Agent Bob: “He’s so dumb he tried to charge his brain by stickin his dick in the car cigarette lighter..”
      Agent George laughing:”hahahaha,..hell, that’s nothin..he’s so stupid, I heard he got fired from a blow job.
      Agent Bob howling:” Bwahahahahahahaha! yeah, and his mother is so stupid she studied for a blood test and failed.
      Agent George laughing:”hahahahaha.. I heard when Dimwit filled out the FBI application.. where it says “sign here”… he put “Sagittarius”

      both rolling on the floor in hysterics…
      “Hey Dimwit…I gotta intelligence tip for ya..the next time ya try to entrap someone..don’t wear your fucking FBI jacket …bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

      hey bartender..did ya hear the one about the Director of the FBI?

      seems.while giving Obama an intelligence update, the FBI director asks Obama what his leadership philosophy is. He replies “I surround myself with intelligent people. The director asks how he knows if they’re intelligent.
      “I do so by asking them the right questions,” says Obama. ” “Allow me to demonstrate.”

      He phones Panetta and says, Hey Leon.. answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

      Panetta responds, “Why, it’s me of course.”

      “Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says Obama. He hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Director?”

      “Yes Sir. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”

      Upon returning to headquarters, he decides he’d better put the Assistant Director to the test. He summons him to his office and says, ” I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”

      “Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”

      “Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

      The Assistant Director hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” The Director agrees, and the Assistant leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior FBI officials, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, the Assistant calls John Kerry at the State Department and explains his problem.

      “Now look here Kerry, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?” Kerry answers immediately, “It’s me, of course, you dumb ass.”

      Much relieved, the Assistant rushes back to the Directors office and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s John Kerry!” The Director replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb ass, It’s Panetta!”

      06/21/13 3:41 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      7

      And then there’s this, also written by a five year old:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHGfSBr2FrY

      06/21/13 3:41 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      8

      Another FBI training video from the 1960s, “Don’t Always Trust Your Spider-Sense” (from Spiderman):

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCqoDuV_Lnc

      06/21/13 3:48 PM | Comment Link

    • kyzl orda said...

      9

      Ahhh, job security

      1. Ok if the NSA is supposed to surveil foreigners, why cant they eavesdrop on communications by the Taliban and conduct a rescue US hostages Bowe Bergdhal and Warren Weinstein?

      It looks like ever-back pedaling, negligent fops at our former Department have failed to attempt a meaningful dialogue at securing the release of Bergdahl and Weinstein, in spite of ‘peace talks’ with the Taliban being touted in the Washington Post, like that was something to be proud of. So much for representing Americans in distress overseas and I sure would call being a Taliban prisoner of war a ‘distress’. This is in addition with leaving $7 billion in critical equipment, some of which probably should be classified or not fall into enemy hands, being left behind in Afghanistan:

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jun/20/taliban-doha-diplomacy-afghanistan

      2. Meanwhile, a UK office has ordered Google to delete evidence, erm data mined by its street view car program:

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/jun/21/google-street-view-payload-data

      “…Google has faced criticism from regulators around the world for collecting private information with its Street View mapping cars between May 2007 and May 2010. The company admitted publicly in May 2010 that it had collected the data, which the Federal Communications Commission said was not a breach of US laws…”

      Google has the audacity to not only run a campaign to stop eavesdropping, but those who sign their after-the-fact petition have to agree to use of their name being shared

      06/21/13 4:32 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...

      10

      06/21/13 4:53 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      11

      Here’s a portion of my letter sent today by registered mail (international) to Congressman “Hon” Darrell Issa:

      “To: Hon Darrell Issa, 2347 Rayburn House Office Building Washington, DC 20515

      Re: House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform and State Department Corruption

      Concerning recent revelations about State Department corruption, I can add information about my own little known case involving the Yekaterinburg Consulate, adultery, passport fraud and my daughter’s Russian mother absconding in Russia with an American woman’s husband, aided and abetted by the collusion of US Consular officers. The State Department has continued strenuously to cover up this up, including several documentable felonies. I can document all of my averments. I practiced law in America for some years. I am a US citizen (etc)…”

      So let’s see what THAT letter’s answer will be! I predict there will be NONE, other than a standard (written by the Congressman’s half-educated staff): “Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the State Department” etc…

      06/21/13 5:49 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...

      12

      quote:” “Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the State Department” etc…”

      I too send letters to my Congresscritter. And yes, I too receive the same bullshit response’s as if they were typed 20 years ago. Only I send them back with MY reply:

      Stick your bullshit replies where the sun don’t shine. Now, answer my questions.

      One time when I queried him about the USG building a massive underground bunker for the Israeli military at American taxpayers expense, I received and repeated the process 5 times. They stopped answering me. No doubt they are in my dossier now.

      06/21/13 6:01 PM | Comment Link

    • meloveconsullongtime said...

      13

      Yekaterinburg Consulate. Jurgen Schlate. Alla Onischenko. Adultery. Homewrecking. Passport fraud. Dale Eppler. Scott Rauland. “Facebook FRIENDS?” Russian FSB? Blackmail?}

      Oh but of course (sarcasm on), it’s CRAZY to suggest that a beautiful Russian woman (born in 1959 and twice divorced) who is 90 percent fluent in English and who has been hanging out at the US Consulate in Yekaterinburg since at least 1998, would have ANYthing to do with Russian spies compromising or otherwise blackmailing US Consular staff in Yekaterinburg Russia?

      Oh, no, no, she’s just an IDEALIST! Yeah, that’s the ticket! She’s just a Russian IDEALIST – that beautiful, twice-divorced Russian woman – she’s just an IDEALIST who CARES ABOUT DEMOCRACY!…

      …which is why she, aided by US Consular staff in Yekaterinburg Russia, seduced an American woman’s husband in 2002 and carried on a secret affair until his American wife discovered it in 2004 and then divorced him for it in 2005, and then in 2006 this Russian whore moved to America, all with US State Department collusion. (Sarcasm on)…

      …Sarcasm still on….

      06/21/13 6:07 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...

      14

      quote:”..aided by US Consular staff in Yekaterinburg Russia, seduced an American woman’s husband in 2002 and carried on a secret affair until his American wife discovered it..”unquote

      Wow, what did the Consular staff do, hold him down while she sat on his face..or what. Musta been a real sight watchin all those State people gettin it on with one woman. They should have made a video. At least it would be more interesting than their usual crap.
      (sarcasm on) 🙂

      06/21/13 9:31 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      15

      MLCLT Could it have been that your Russian wife scammed you? You want us to believe that it was a deep love instead of a scheming Russian female who played you.
      Are you open to such a scenario?

      06/22/13 12:29 AM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      16

      MLCLT. I’m still baffled why this incident is tormenting you. It sounds like you got with the wrong female but can’t quite get past that incident. Am I wrong? I’m open to being disabused. Please explain who married whom, when and for what reason.

      06/22/13 12:14 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      17

      “The “death ray” was built with the help of the FBI. The undercover FBI agents or informants gave Crawford the tools to build his death ray — X-ray tubes — and technical specs on how to use it. An FBI informant also financed the plot, giving Feight $1,000 to build the remote control device.”

      Yeah, right. I believe this like the rumor the FBI worked with the Boston bombers and that rumor the FBI tied up a loose end in Orlando, and … Oh wait, there’s someone at the door.

      http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2013-05-29/news/os-fbi-orlando-investigation-20130529_1_fbi-agent-reniya-manukyan-agent-dave-couvertier

      06/22/13 9:17 PM | Comment Link

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