• The Dumbest Article You’ll Read This Week About Iraq

    October 31, 2013

    Tags: , , ,
    Posted in: Iran, Iraq

    Smell that?

    Iraq’s Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki is in the US this week, meeting with officials in hopes of getting more US assistance, including lots of weapons he says he needs to fight terrorism, or Syria, or whatever (whatever=killing more Sunnis.) You can expect lots of dumb, uninformed comment about this visit.

    To save readers valuable time and as a public service, I have searched the web for the dumbest article you’ll encounter about Maliki’s visit, and present it here, with some explanatory comment.

    The winner is Douglas A. Ollivant, writing for the really, really important blog-thingie War on the Rocks. Ollivant is certainly a smart apple about Iraq; indeed, he is responsible in part for the disaster there.

    Ollivant served as Director for Iraq at the National Security Council during both the Bush and Obama administrations. He is now the Senior Vice President of Mantid, a “consulting firm” with offices in Washington, Beirut and Baghdad. He was also a member of now-disgraced idiot warrior-poet-flim flam man David Petraeus’ “brain trust” of “warrior-intellectuals.”

    But enough about Google. Let’s see what this warrior intellectual has to tell us now about Iraq.

    Iraq Did This to Themselves

    First, it is important to note, Ollivant says, that “Iraq is, quite simply, on the receiving end of a major al Qaeda in Iraq (AQI) offensive. AQI remains one of the most capable of the al Qaeda affiliates or regional franchises. As a percentage of the population, Iraq has lost more of its citizens to al Qaeda explosives in each of the past three months than the United States did on September 11, 2001.” Not that any of that has anything to do with the United States’ invasion and inept occupation of Iraq.

    No, no, the al Qaeda “issue” in Iraq is actually Iraq’s own fault. We learn:

    AQI has experienced a resurgence. As I have written elsewhere, this is largely due to the release of AQI-affiliated detainees, spill-over from the Syria conflict, passive support from elements of the Sunni population, and the simple fact that the Iraqi security forces fall far short of JSOC, particularly with respect to training and equipment.

    Ollivant’s solution?

    To defeat this sophisticated terrorist network, the Iraqis must acquire more JSOC-like capabilities

    (JSOC– Joint Special Operations Command, is a super-secret special forces entity that the US used for years in Iraq as a high-tech assassination squad, killing off a long whack-a-mole string of “senior al Qaeda leaders.” JSOC now continues its filthy work pretty much everywhere in the world following its success in Iraq.)

    Of course, one cannot just order up some JSOC-like Iraqi guys on the internet or something for speedy delivery. Or can one? Ollivant has the answer:

    Perhaps a more feasible answer is for the United States to facilitate the Iraqi contracting of private U.S. firms that specialize in intelligence analysis, many of them formed and/or staffed by JSOC, and other military intelligence, veterans.

    That’s it, the solution to Iraq’s problem is for the nation to hire some of the US’ out-of-work mercenaries, from Blackwater or whomever, to return to Iraq and return to killing Iraqis. We all know how much Iraqis loved American mercs stampeding over their country during the Occupation, so this makes perfect sense.

    After the Mercs, Weapons

    Ollivant also knows that the Iraqis need weapons, lots of weapons. But why?

    The frustration with the delays in fighter jets, air defense equipment, helicopters, and armored vehicles has moved beyond the staff level and become a Prime Ministerial issue. This should be of interest to the United States, as the reason Iraq needs this equipment is to stand up to—among others—its perennial rival, Iran.

    C’mon man, this borders on warrior intellectual satire! Rival Iran? For the love of Allah, Maliki is an Iranian stooge. He was put into power by Iran, uses Iranian thugs to capture, imprison or kill his political rivals and visits Tehran as necessary to maintain a robust cross-border trade. Iranian planes overfly Iraq freely, on their way to Syria to deliver weapons to some version of whatever count as “rebels” nowadays (Ollivant says “Iraq lacks the Air Force and Air Defense system to stop this.”) And of course fighter jets and armored vehicles are exactly what you need for counter-insurgency work, right? I mean, that’s what the US used so fruitfully for nine years in Iraq so it must be right.

    That Sunni-Shia Thing

    Ollivant is also aware of that nasty Sunni-Shia thing. He does skip over Maliki’s arrest threats that drove his own Sunni Vice President into exile days after the US pulled out, and the systematic disenfranchisement of Sunni voters, and the abandonment of the Sahwa, Sunni fighters promised jobs in return for putting down their arms and all that. But Ollivant is a realist and so adds:

    Maliki is no doubt expecting—with some resignation—a lecture on Sunni inclusion and reconciliation. This is a delicate issue and one that does not lend itself to easy solutions. But the reasonable Sunni issues can be reduced to de-Baathification reform, inclusion in Iraqi society, and an end to persecution by the security forces.

    The de-Baathification thing is just a hoot, given that it was done by the US in 2003 and in many respects was the tipping point of the whole disaster, destroying Iraq’s civil service and thus functional government, throwing millions of Sunni’s out of work, and essentially creating the groundwork for the next nine years of insurgency. Hi-larious.

    Security forces (Shia controlled) killing Sunnis? Just a typo: “Regarding the alleged persecution of Sunnis, there is no doubt that some innocent Sunni are caught in the raids that the security forces engage in to try to discover the AQI cells.”

    Inclusion into Iraqi society? A statistical anomaly. “Sunni do not appreciate what they do have. While there has been no census in many decades, the Sunni Arabs of Iraq are no more than 25% of the population, and the CIA Factbook estimates they could be as little as 12%. Yet most Sunnis believe they comprise at least 50% of the Iraqi population. If the 12% is correct, Sunnis may well be over-represented…”

    Maliki is Actually Thomas Jefferson

    At this point you’d think that Ollivant would have sobered up, realized how he had embarrassed himself, and hit the delete key, just like he might do with those Facebook photos that seemed fun when posted last night but now don’t seem like resume material. Instead, he doubles-down for a big conclusion:

    Maliki is not coming to the United States with hat in hand—he has his own money, and plenty of it. He does not want Iraq to be a ward of the U.S. military, but, rather, a customer of U.S. business. Iraq doesn’t need the U.S. to give it anything other than goodwill. It just wants the U.S. to deliver on sales of goods and services.

    And in this, the Prime Minister will be echoing the sentiment, if not the words, of Thomas Jefferson’s first inaugural address: “peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations, entangling alliances with none.”

    So there you have it. The democracy the US failed to implement in Iraq after nine years of Occupation, trillions of dollars and thousands if not hundreds of thousands of lives, is in hand. Thomas Jefferson is now Prime Minister of Iraq.

    If the US gives Maliki anything on his trick-or-treat visit but a cold shoulder it has learned nothing in defeat. Huzzah!

    Update: We now have a runner-up. Psychotic microcephalic James Jeffrey, former US ambassador in Baghdad, said Iraq desperately needs teams of US advisers, trainers, intelligence and counterterror experts to beat back al-Qaeda.

    “They could mean all the difference between losing an Iraq that 4,500 Americans gave their lives for,” said Jeffrey.

    So heads up American military reservists, for the recall order to ship back to Iraq for some more war. We’re getting the old band back together!

    Related Articles:

    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

  • Recent Comments

    • Rich Bauer said...


      Doug’s photo instills lots of confidence. Looks like they found a wino and put a nice coat on him.

      10/31/13 1:04 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      quote:”Thomas Jefferson is now Prime Minister of Iraq.”unquote

      Right. And Samuel Adams runs Afghanistan.

      Never fucking ceases to amaze me…until…I see something like this….

      quote:”he is also an Operating Advisor to Monument Capital Group.”

      Any questions?

      bartender..let’s toast to the Founders of the Mid East. I know they have everything under control. Now, turn on the Teh Veh.

      10/31/13 2:04 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      ps..quote:”If the US gives Maliki anything but a cold shoulder it has learned nothing in defeat.”unquote





      peter…yer killen me.

      10/31/13 2:06 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      Speaking of..ahem..”learned”. Apparently, I didn’t learn a goddamn thing in civics. I must be really fucking stupid. And here I thought the “rights” enumerated in the Constitution were god given and protected by it. Apparently..I must have been asleep or skipped class the day they covered the chapter on Federal Government issued “privileges”.


      My bad. I’m sorry Ms. Pond Scum. I should be pistol whipped. Please..please..don’t take my privileges away. I’ll even swear an allegiance!

      over my dead body.

      10/31/13 2:15 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      “At this point you’d think that Ollivant would have sobered up, realized how he had embarrassed himself…”

      Pitch and this hungover guy should have a drink together.

      10/31/13 2:44 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      Head up their ass: the last refuge of the neo-conartists

      “Maliki’s arrival Friday is a cautionary tale for the White House as well. Thousands of American troops lost their lives in Iraq, and tens of thousands returned home with severe physical or psychological wounds. Successive presidential administrations said the enormous human toll had bought Iraq a chance at a stable future free of the al Qaeda attacks that had terrorized the country for years. Those security gains have vanished, however, and Washington now faces the real possibility that many of the American deaths will prove to have been in vain. ”

      Gee, what’s that smell?

      10/31/13 3:03 PM | Comment Link

    • Helen Marshall said...


      Peter, thank you for this public service. And for the photo, possibly the only comment you needed to offer.

      Happy Halloween!

      10/31/13 5:31 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      Of course, it is US who has its head up its ass for letting these clowns have the keys to the kingdumb,
      America, the dumbest country on the planet.

      10/31/13 5:36 PM | Comment Link

    • jhoover said...


      (whatever=killing more Sunni??

      Is those explosives and boobs are smart enough to kill Just Sunni Iraqis?

      So let see who is behind those “AQI remains one of the most capable of the al Qaeda affiliates or regional franchises”:

      let’s read:

      لوفيغارو تكشف تفاصيل تسليح المخابرات الأمريكية للإرهابيين في سورية.. الإرهابي أنور: تلقينا صواريخ إسرائيلية من الجيل الأول

      10/31/13 7:04 PM | Comment Link

    • jhoover said...


      Btw, The UN inspectors have said they finished disassembling Syria WMD Weapon, early that the date they planed!!
      The Hague-based organisation said that it did so three days ahead of the 27 October deadline set by UN Security Council resolution 2118.

      With Iraq it took 13 years of inspections but not finished?

      Then after 2003 till today WMD Weapon not found in Iraq?

      10/31/13 7:13 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      10/31/13 11:34 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      When you can’t see where you are going because your head is up your ass, try autopilot:


      11/1/13 12:47 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      quote:”Pitch and this hungover guy should have a drink together.”unquote

      He wouldn’t like it. I prefer a glass vs a cesspool.

      btw, I’m curious. Why?

      11/1/13 1:25 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...



      Only you could scare the hell out of him.

      11/1/13 1:44 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      ie..Rich’s link.

      quote:”Certain practices had been happening “on automatic pilot” without the knowledge of senior officials in the Obama administration, said Kerry,”unquote

      Shades of autonomous surveillance.

      Certain practices. On automatic pilot. right. The Starship USS NSA on autopilot. whudda thunk.

      Ok folks, move along. Nothing to see here.

      Hook line and sinker notwithstanding of course.

      11/1/13 1:47 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      Do we file this “autopilot” excuse under the Incompetent or Corrupt Practices column?

      Geez, if these clowns really don’t know what the hell the clowns in the NSA have been doing, then America, you are so FUCKED.

      11/1/13 1:51 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      Rich said…

      Only you could scare the hell out of him.”unquote

      Naw. He’s already terrah-fried.

      11/1/13 1:56 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      quote:”Do we file this “autopilot” excuse under the Incompetent or Corrupt Practices column?”unquote

      Neither. He just tried out for Act 3 of the Greatest Show on Earth.


      11/1/13 2:07 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      ps Rich..Clowns-R-Us indeed. Compared to Kerry…Ronald McDonald looks like a rank amateur.

      Meanwhile, I’ve gotta little something for Kerry.

      Dear Secretary Kerry…

      Just because you’re such a schmuck…


      11/1/13 2:46 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      11/1/13 3:02 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      11/1/13 3:04 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      quote:”Good thing the NSA isn’t located in PA: “unquote

      Ya know..I was wondering about that “state” thing in regards to the NSA facility in Utah. If this thing is so classified, just how did it get by the “permit” and “inspection” process? I know this thing uses more electricity and water than a small city..so someone, somewhere, in the state bureaucracy must have seen the plans for this shit. You don’t build infrastructure to get this much water and electricity to the facility without heavy politics and under the counter deals either. AND..the NSA got a “tax” break too! Just to think..first, the USG, while holding the threat of a gun to your head, makes the taxpayer “liable” for paying for this bullshit by virtue of an unlimited supply of classified funding provided by our wunnerful Congress, then, they use more water and electricity than a city, and then..spy on you with the very thing you are forced to work 3-4 months out of the year for free, to pay for.

      Anyone see something wrong with this picture?

      11/2/13 11:49 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      11/2/13 12:55 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      quote:”Are you suggesting we are Breaking Bad?”unquote

      Actually, I haven’t watched one single episode, so I really didn’t know what it was about. But now that I read the article, I agree. Good article btw.
      In fact, one of the best I’ve read in a while. Thanks for the link.

      As to Teh Veh..I’ve got 500 channels available. Democracy Now aside, ALL of them suck. Don’t know why I even pay for this shit. Except..my wife loves all those Ghost programs. 🙁 They remind me of the USG looking for boogyman in a closet. 🙂

      11/2/13 1:45 PM | Comment Link

    • pitchfork said...


      ps. On a side note, take a gander at another Police State Monumental Fail. If this isn’t living proof of the psychotic government’s boiling frog plan to slowly but surely get the populace accustomed to a Stazi State, nothing is.


      Deranged notwithstanding, I don’t know who authorized this disgusting display of power gone mad, but this needs to go viral. This is the final proof that we are on the verge of something so evil, so wickedly sadistic and Orwellian, that should this story be allowed to just fade away like all the other SWAT team/LEO murders of innocent people, I submit we the people are in for a rude awakening. We’ve now been declared the enemy. So be it. But some people aren’t letting TPTB get away with it..thank god.


      It’s hard to believe what the State tried to do to this sheriff. But his case is living proof the PTB will stop at nothing to further their agenda. NOTHING. If they can do this to a Sheriff..think what they can do to someone with no power whatsoever. Fortunately..not all jurors are fucking idiots. Thank god the Oath Keepers are alive and well.

      11/2/13 2:48 PM | Comment Link

    • George said...


      I think your stupid; oh you such dump ass

      11/4/13 12:26 AM | Comment Link

    Leave A Comment

    Mail (will not be published) (required)