• Top Ten Govt Things to Be Afraid of for Halloween

    October 31, 2014

    Tags: , ,
    Posted in: Democracy, Post-Constitution America

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    The government’s main function these days is to promote fear among Americans.

    Fear is good for our current way of life, allowing your opinion and votes to be manipulated, and to make sure you’ll go along with any terrible things the government wishes to do to you (surveillance, wars, detentions, quarantines, shredding of the bill of rights…)

    So, in honor of Halloween, our scariest holiday other than election day, here is the Official Government-Approved List of Fears:

    1) ISIS (they’re everywhere!)

    2) Ebola (it’s everywhere!)

    3) Al Qaeda (still around)

    4) People who tell you not to be afraid (they’re working for the terrorists)

    5) Something (as in “If you see SOMETHING, say something…”)

    6) For Kids: Your hippie parents and Occupy-creepy older siblings (be sure and report them to the nearest friendly Homeland Security personnel, they’ll give you tasty candies!)

    7) That Leatherface guy with the chainsaw and Twisty clown from the TV (they may be ISIS)

    8) The thing under your bed (could be an ISIS thing, and you’re not imagining it, we believe you)

    9) The Boogie-man as you choose to believe in him/her as a higher power (he has ebola and is a Muslim)

    10) People who are not like you based on skin color, preferences, religion, politics and everything else all the time everywhere forever, just to be on the safe side!

    Citizens remember, fear is your only protection against the forces of whatever, evil, so just stay afraid and you’ll be safe!



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