• FBI Stops Terrorist Death Ray Plot; Roadrunner Still at Large

    August 20, 2015

    Tags: ,
    Posted in: Iraq

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    Another close call as the FBI announced it stopped another terrorist plot it helped facilitate. The best part of this one is that the plot involved some yahoo trying to develop a “death ray machine” that he was going to unleash on Obama and the Muslims.


    A self-proclaimed Ku Klux Klan member conspired to use a remote-controlled X-ray device hidden in a truck, which he called “Hiroshima on a light switch,” as a weapon of mass destruction to harm Muslims and Barack Obama, a prosecutor told jurors.

    But a lawyer for Glendon Scott Crawford, 51, said that government undercover agents dragged him further into the plot to build what media dubbed the “death ray” machine after he tried to pull away in the initial stages, when he had no more than “a piece of paper” sketching out his ideas.

    Government agents apparently gave Crawford an old X-ray machine and an arc welder that he was otherwise unable to procure himself. In opening arguments at U.S. District Court in Albany, a lawyer for Crawford said the device would have never been built if not for the government supplying the necessary components.

    The FBI learned of this evil plot after Crawford approached Jewish community leaders in Albany, New York, seeking funding. Those leaders immediately called the FBI.


    Here’s the caper: Crawford and another man were arrested in 2013 and charged in the plot to unleash radiation at a mosque and a Muslim school. The men also planned to attack the White House.

    The weapon: a remote-controlled device Crawford said was going to be like “Hiroshima on a light switch.”

    Crawford faces three charges, including attempting to produce, construct, acquire, transfer, receive, possess and use a radiological dispersal device. The other two charges are conspiring to use a weapon of mass destruction and distributing information with respect to a weapon of mass destruction.


    Left unanswered so far is the vast gap between what a hateful nut like Crawford imagined and reality on Earth.

    “Death Rays” are notoriously hard to construct, the evidence of which is that none have ever been constructed. One faces issues such as acquiring massive X-ray machines that are portable, powering those massive x-ray machines in a portable way, and directing said x-rays through stuff to reach people somewhere in the distance. Perhaps such devices are sold by the Wil E. Coyote division of the Acme X-Ray Corporation?

    Given that Crawford has no training in high-energy physics and has been unable to contact Dr. Evil at his lair for help, this is all another silly attempt by the FBI to entrap some nasty loser who may indeed belong in jail, but to dress it all up as “terrorism” and “weapons of mass destruction” ahead of their next promotion cycle.




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  • Recent Comments

    • John Poole said...

      1

      I think the guys had bought 100 “shoe fitting fluoroscope” machines stored in a Buster Brown warehouse facility in Grand Island Nebraska. Their plan was to offer free shoe fitting scans in front of mosques and also in front of the White House with the combined X ray dosage of 100 or so machines serially wired to nuke at least one’s feet.

      08/20/15 8:53 AM | Comment Link

    • bloodypitchfork said...

      2

      quote”I think the guys had bought 100 “shoe fitting fluoroscope” machines…”unquote

      Oh. my. god. I remember them. Thought they were dumb then. Of course, I thought everything was dumb. Except rock and roll. 🙂

      quote”The weapon: a remote-controlled device Crawford said was going to be like “Hiroshima on a light switch.”unquote

      Bwa ha ha hahaha! If stupidity was a crime this guy would would be sentenced to 10k lifetimes. And speaking of lightswitches.. I bet one has finally turned on between his ears. The one marked .. ut oh.

      Actually, I kinda feel sorry for this moron. Life in prison for being dumb must really make you feel ..well..dumb.

      08/20/15 10:01 AM | Comment Link

    • bloodypitchfork said...

      3

      quote”Their plan was to offer free shoe fitting scans in front of mosques and also in front of the White House with the combined X ray dosage of 100 or so machines serially wired to nuke at least one’s feet.”unquote

      Hahahahahahaha…hohohohohohoho…hahaha hahah haha ha ha…

      that’s funny.

      Buster Brown’s WMD.

      He should have tried this one…
      http://www.kk.org/thetechnium//solar-bath_custom.jpg

      Just rename it the Re-election machine. Would have decimated WDC.

      08/20/15 10:20 AM | Comment Link

    • Bruce said...

      4

      Anticipating FBI (For Billary’s Initiation) cover-up of ServerGate; perhaps their Buster Brown surplus can also solve her ever-widening cankle escalation, pre-coronation.

      08/20/15 10:35 AM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      5

      Pitch- I think it’s called a double indumbnity payout. I too feel sort of sorry for the moron. A light switch wired to a single diode might be an overkill.

      08/20/15 10:35 AM | Comment Link

    • bloodypitchfork said...

      6

      quote”FBI Stops Terrorist Death Ray Plot; Roadrunner Still at Large”unquote

      Duh! That’s because the roadrunner is an FBI informer. 🙂

      btw..ALL “informants” are still at large and most likely breaking the law with the FBI’s blessing.

      quote”The New Yorker, the FBI maintains more than 15,000 informants.”
      (snip)
      The FBI gave its informants permission to break the law at least 5,658 times in a single year, according to newly disclosed documents that show just how often the nation’s top law enforcement agency enlists criminals to help it battle crime.”unquote

      http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/08/04/fbi-informant-crimes-report/2613305/

      Enlists criminals to battle crime. right. And pays them to break the law. Gottcha. un huh.

      umm… bartender..give me a double shot of Absurd. And a sixpack of Who’sIdeaWasThis.

      08/20/15 6:22 PM | Comment Link

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