• New York Times Speculates the Secret Service May Murder Trump

    October 25, 2018

    Tags: , , ,
    Posted in: Democracy, Post-Constitution America, Trump

    Jesus to Trump: Drop Dead

    For no real reason just two weeks ahead of the midterms and only a day after pipe bombs were sent to politicians across the country, the New York Times commissioned and published five authors to write “fiction” about President Trump and Russia that reads like a modern-day Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Here’s a sample:

     

    — One story has Trump pardoning everyone who testified against him to Mueller and then pseudo-resigning via the 25th Amendment with a promise from Pence to pardon him. The deal lets Trump live in the White House and play lots of golf while Pence is called the Acting President. Some nasty bits about how “close” Trump and Ivanka are, too;

    — One has the Secret Service helping murder Trump after an assassin sent by Putin to take out his failing agent can’t complete the hit. As the Russian’s gun jams, we read: “The Secret Service agent stood before him, presenting his Glock, butt first. ‘Here,’ the agent said politely. ‘Use mine…’;

    — One story has Trump instigate cyberwar with Russia, including flooding Russian TV with a biopic about dissident punk band Pussy Riot starring the American actress Reese Witherspoon (this is the mildest of the five);

    — Another posits Edward Snowden, still in exile in Moscow, controls the “pee tape” and ponders releasing it before the 2020 election after he failed to do so prior to 2016. This story also manages to mock Snowden’s patriotism and suggest the Russians control him via threats to his girlfriend;

    — The last features a new “dossier” surfacing which reveals Trump and Putin cooperating on money laundering. Trump calls Putin to warn him there’s a leak inside the Kremlin, and Putin tells Trump he did it because Trump failed to carry out his part of the bargain — Russia would get him elected if he wiped away the sanctions. Trump is a liability now, and Putin will give the Democrats the information they need to impeach him.

    I wanted to read these like they were bad fan fiction, you know, the kind that features a bikini-clad Princess Leia arriving on earth desperate to mate with teenage Star Wars fans. Instead, it comes off as hateful, nasty, like a snuff film, the worst impulses transferred from someone’s bad brain to a tangible medium.

    Yes, violence is bad, but if the NYT wants to give its readers a hard-on imaging the Secret Service murdering the president, I guess that’s ok nowadays. And where the stories aren’t violent porn, they are childish in making fun of Trump’s hair over and over, like a lounge lizard comic recycling bits he heard on Kimmel last week. The Russian assassin stays in a Trump hotel and we get this line of Pulitzer-prose: “The bar of soap had the hotel name stamped into both sides. He made sure to wash his ass with it.” Just what you expect now I guess from the “newspaper of record.”

    Because I know the Times is interested in always showing both sides to an issue, I’ve sent in my own fun stories for their consideration. One has Cory Booker and Kamala Harris lynched by the Secret Service after a white nationalist’s rope breaks. Another features Elizabeth Warren receiving fake DNA test data from her Chinese handlers, the same people who created the birth certificate making it look like Obama was born in Hawaii, “Operation Moana Pocahontas.” There’s a tale with Joe Biden, where he lusts after one of his sons (but not the dead one, there are limits!) The best story features Ed Snowden in possession of the actual video showing Hillary Clinton killing Vince Foster.

    The Times had previously paid off progressive hero-writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie to produce a snarky little made-up “story” showing Melania is an air headed bitch, alongside some lovely hints of Daddy’s incestous relationship with Ivanka as the wife he would never have. Regardless of what you think about Trump, it is inconceivable the Times would have done this with any other president, or any other person. It is unworthy of a newspaper that otherwise pretends to do serious journalism. It is a marker for historians cataloguing how far we have fallen.

    Read it yourself.

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    Copyright © 2018. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity. Follow me on Twitter!

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  • Recent Comments

    • chucknobomb said...

      1

      I did not read this article as I am listening to the Dead Kennedy’s album. Have a nice day! TY PVB for free speech!

      10/25/18 1:01 PM | Comment Link

    • chucknobomb said...

      2

      Gina/2020

      10/25/18 1:03 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      3

      PVB- there’s a slot on the reporter/writer roster at the National Enquirer you could easily fill. Oh, and we aren’t falling at all. We’re still at the place of our origin- the shining hill which was in a deep ravine or at best a gulch.

      10/25/18 4:16 PM | Comment Link

    • What the #nytimes has become https://wemeantwell.com/blog/2018/10/2… | Dr. Roy Schestowitz (罗伊) said...

      4

      10/25/18 8:56 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      5

      Peter,

      You do have a talent for fiction:

      “It is unworthy of a newspaper that otherwise pretends to do serious journalism. It is a marker for historians cataloguing how far we have fallen.”

      Let them eat yellowcake.

      10/26/18 9:52 AM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      6

      My old harangue about the main stream media wanting to play the role of the revered soothsayer is sadly apt. “Here is what Trump will do, has to do, will have done to him or by him…. Here’s what is going to happen, should happen or could happen. Attend our published utterances so you can avoid or benefit from…….

      10/26/18 1:22 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      7

      The Times may be a changin, but the fiction coming from the Orange clown is getting old.

      Trumpie: we need to come together, especially the losers who didn’t vote for me. You know, the MAJORITY.

      10/26/18 2:59 PM | Comment Link

    • teri said...

      8

      Rich,

      Talk about fiction: now Trump is denying there are any tariffs. You know, the tariffs he imposed all on his own, which have left us with a larger trade imbalance than we had 6 months ago.

      From an article on his interview the other day with the WSJ (WSJ is behind a paywall, so I can’t link to the entire interview):

      *******
      “In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, President Trump said that his administration doesn’t ‘have tariffs anywhere.’ That’s surprising news to the global economy and many American businesses which are already feeling the pinch from the tariffs Trump himself imposed.
      ‘We don’t even have tariffs. I’m using tariffs to negotiate,’ Trump told the Wall Street Journal during an Oval Office interview. The Journal asked him about the risk that tariffs pose to the economy, to which he replied: ‘Where do we have tariffs? We don’t have tariffs anywhere.’
      He then pushed the blame for any economic pain felt by American businesses to the people running them.
      ‘You know what happens? A business that’s doing badly always likes to blame Trump and the tariffs, because it’s a good excuse for some incompetent guy that’s making $25 million a year.’ […]”

      https://thinkprogress.org/trump-says-his-own-tariffs-dont-exist-bfb84098636c/
      ********

      The cheese has totally slid off the guy’s cracker. We don’t have tariffs anywhere? WTF?

      And this referring to himself in the third person is really starting to sound fucking weird.

      I can’t excuse anyone who defends this imbecilic lunatic any more. This is like being stuck in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” every day. Forever.

      10/26/18 7:22 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      9

      Teri,

      This White Russia House has always been a few clowns short of a circus. Whether the Orange Clown really believes his own lies or just gas-lighting the evil media, he thinks his old act that got him elected will play in the midterms. The Orange Clown is frantically lashing out at perceived enemies like Soros, but he doesn’t have a Hillary, his Moriarity, to demonize the opposition. The Orange Clown who would be king still appeals to the lunatic fringe but his October MAGAZINE Surprise blew up in his face. Hail Cesar.

      10/26/18 8:09 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      10

      The NYT probably declined to print your fiction because you were considered violent by Twitter. Apparently Twitter has changed its standards:

      Hey
      @Twitter
      remember when I reported the guy who was making threats towards me after my appearance on
      @FoxNews
      and you guys sent back a bs response about how you didn’t find it that serious. Well guess what it’s the guy who has been sending #bombs to high profile politicians!!!!

      10/26/18 8:34 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      11

      Meanwhile, the Honduran caravan is coming. Not White Walkers, but more threatening.

      10/26/18 8:57 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      12

      Fan Fiction: President Obama tweeted today he believes the series of pipe bombs mailed to Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, candidate Donald Trump, and five members of the Supreme Court was a false flag operation financed by Republican extremists to distract from his plan to pass affordable health care. FOX News called this allegation disgusting and unpresidential, saying he didn’t even bother to call them.

      Crossing the Rubes he Conned, Trumpie admitted his false flag conspiracy was an act of desperation and that even he was saddened that so many, even Geraldo, were willing to believe it.

      10/26/18 9:29 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      13

      More Fan fiction: Trumpie is replacing Pence with his lover Putin on the 2020 ticket in the hope it will get the LGBT vote enthused with the “Make America Gay Again” movement. Lindsey Graham is reportedly very distraught.

      10/26/18 9:59 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      14

      Teri- you might be tempted to call for nurse Ratched and eagerly gulp down her little pills but only if you are perched in the cuckoo’s nest. I doubt that is the case.

      10/29/18 4:54 PM | Comment Link

    • chucknobomb said...

      15

      Chuck Todd regarding letter bombs… “Russians?” Fake News or Actor Press? Work For The People…Keep On! Educate… Corps.wn TV and this venue. Have a nice day.

      10/29/18 4:56 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      16

      JP,

      This is no time for levity. We are being invaded by Caravans of terrorists and MS13. Every American who loves his country should go down to the border and repel the foreign invaders. Trump will save US all.

      10/29/18 8:08 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      17

      “Never before did I realize that mental illness could have the aspect of power, power. Think of it: perhaps the more insane a man is, the more powerful he could become. Hitler an example. Fair makes the old brain reel, doesn’t it?”
      ― Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

      10/29/18 8:24 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      18

      And after Trumpie protects US from these foreign terrorist caravans he can protect US from the domestic terrorists who actually are a threat in Pittsburgh, Orlando, Aventura, etc. Just kidding, these terrorists are his base.

      10/30/18 10:16 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      19

      If the secret service killed Trumpie it would not implicate the NYT articles as responsible, just as Trumpie’s crazy rhetoric has absolulely nothing to do with the lunatic fringe killing Jews in Pittsburgh. Correlation not causation. Just as there is no causation of the Bonesaw massacre in a Saudi consulate and Mc Donald’s adding McRib sandwiches to its menu this month. Coincidence? You decide. Bon appetite.

      10/30/18 1:41 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      20

      The ultimate October surprise

      Trumpie has proof Robert Mueller is leading the millions of terrorists in the Central American caravan paid by Soros who are coming to vote in the midterm election. CNN is desperate to keep this secret from true Americans.

      10/30/18 6:11 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      21

      It is impossible to write fiction about Trumpie – “there is no proof of anything.”

      10/30/18 6:47 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      22

      Let’s tone down the snarky mirth. We should view our present times as the norm. You want dark? A SMALL TALENT FOR WAR from the 80s reboot of Twilight Zone is still up on YouTube for free at 8 minutes long. Humans aren’t quite reprobate enough to be allowed to continue! Hah.

      10/30/18 7:06 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      23

      JP,

      The WHOLE world is laughing at US.

      Why can’t we laugh at our dumbasses?

      10/30/18 7:29 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      24

      The Trumpies, enabled by the craven cowards in the Repugnican parteid, are sending soldiers to fight the invasion of women, children and “strong, young men” on the Mexico border. F the NYT. History will record the Mexico massacre on our tombstone as the day democracy died. Can’t wait until the little dick-tator sends the soldiers to fight next. Those angry Jews in Pittsburgh better show respect.

      “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out… without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” H.L. Menken

      10/31/18 10:51 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      25

      The Trumpies do have a sick sense of humor. The draft dodging serial adulterer named the operation Faithful Patriot.

      10/31/18 12:13 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      26

      Operation Fathful Patriot could become Me Lie Mexico.

      Item: White supremacists hide among the caravan and take shots at the soldiers who have LIVE AMMO. Naturally, the soldiers fire into the caravan, killing dozens of women and children. Trumpie is gleeful, as if kidnapping the children was not sufficient deterrence.

      Trumpie: They knew what they were getting into.

      Of course, Demented has no idea what will bite him in his “wag the dog.”

      10/31/18 1:37 PM | Comment Link

    • chucknobomb said...

      27

      Often the u.s. and friends choke me up with the BS.

      10/31/18 5:07 PM | Comment Link

    • chucknobomb said...

      28

      Often the u.s. and friends choke me up with the BS. Who supports Bombing Yemen and Assasinations? Gina/2020

      10/31/18 5:08 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      29

      Corrupt royal camel fuckers in Saudi have created more terrorists than the number of camels they fuck.

      McCains ghost on Halloween : Bomb, bomb Riyadh.

      10/31/18 9:00 PM | Comment Link

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