• So a Republican and Democrat Walk Into a Bar…

    July 29, 2019

    Tags:
    Posted in: 2020, Trump


     
    So a Republican and Democrat walk into a bar and start to talk about the upcoming presidential election.
     

    Republican: We negotiated a deal with Guatemala which will reduce false asylum claims on the southern border.
    Democrat: We lost our shit over Baltimore this week.

    R: We passed tax reform in line with campaign promises.
    D: A man touched many butt without consent in 1983.

    R: Full exoneration, no collusion, no obstruction, witch hunt.
    D: Well, we’re looking into it. We need more evidence. We’ll see.

    R: We’ve got Trump.
    D: We’ve got Biden and like 20 more. There’s a full list somewhere on line.

    R: We oppose Obama care.
    D: Um, since we want to replace it with Medicare for All, I guess we sorta do too. But not really, it just has to go away after we supported it for a decade and through the last election.

    R: We appointed two Supreme Court judges.
    D: Merrick Garland was unfair.

    R: The economy is roaring. Stocks at all time highs.
    D: Obama did that.

    R: Fundamentals are very strong, plenty of room for more interest rates cuts if needed.
    D: It’s gonna crash.

    R: We held the line for our base on 2A.
    D: We exploited the Parkland kids.

    R: We built the Wall.
    D: We won the popular vote.

    R: We pushed the Muslim ban through the Supreme Court.
    D: AOC and her squad tweeted about that from their last sleepover. They made a prank call to the White House after midnight, too!

    R: We made significant changes to asylum processing.
    D: We complained about that on Twitter and on Colbert.

    R: We put kids on cages.
    D: We complained about that on Twitter in ALL CAPS.

    R: You got anything at all?
    D: Most of our candidates have prefered pronouns now.

    R: We’re interested in smaller government.
    D: We hate men.

     

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    Copyright © 2019. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

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  • Recent Comments

    • Rich Bauer said...

      1

      R. We tripled the national debt.
      D. Ditto

      07/29/19 6:11 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      2

      R. We need a big defense budget cause Russia. We don’t need to defend our election system…cause Russia.
      D. What was the question?

      07/29/19 9:56 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      3

      R. Hillary’s emails.
      D. What was the question?

      07/29/19 10:05 PM | Comment Link

    • J.L.Seagull said...

      4

      You didn’t even mention the most absurd thing the Dems did this week. They fired an expert bundler for the DCCC, someone who has raised over $60 million this year, because the establishment black group wants the DCCC to replace her with someone with black skin. So they literally fired her, on her birthday no less, because she’s white. Search DCCC on Google News to see the whole story.

      07/30/19 12:33 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      5

      And I bet she is from that rat infested Balteemore.

      07/30/19 12:46 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      6

      Trumpie, who lives in rat infested DC, shouldn’t be throwing stones. He might hit one of his bundlers or Moscow Mitch.

      07/30/19 12:49 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      7

      J.L. Seagull- interesting. The photo of Hillary looks like she is toasting her soon massive 2016 win with a negroni not flavor aid in a dixie cup. If the Democrats make “systemic racism” the theme of their 2020 campaign they could again lose to Trump.

      07/30/19 1:33 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      8

      I have here in my hand a list of 53 Senators known as being members of the Moscow Mitch Party and who nevertheless are still working and shaping the policy of the US Senate.

      07/30/19 9:41 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      9

      Trumpists aren’t the only ones who can use the Fear Card to energize their base.

      07/30/19 9:43 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      10

      If the old Kentucky turtle doesn’t like his Moscow Mitch switch, maybe he will disappear after the 2020 election like WMW Moscow Mitch. (damn, I should have trademarked it.)

      07/31/19 9:29 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      11

      R. That damn NSA is spying on us so we can’t make our deals with the Russians. See Moscow Mitch Rusal deal.
      D. You mean the NSA that Snowden exposed? That one?

      Flash: The exiled American whistleblower’s Permanent Record is due to be released on the U.S.’s Constitution Day Exiled American whistleblower Edward Snowden, who rattled the U.S. intelligence establishment and ignited a worldwide debate about surveillance by leaking classified documents in 2013, announced Thursday that his memoir, Permanent Record, is set to be published globally on Sept. 17.

      Even JP will be ordering one. Maybe WMW can give a book review.

      08/1/19 12:26 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      12

      Nixon, Reagan and Trump walk into a bar, whites only.

      Nixon: Can you believe these cannibals? The nerve that they have to be served.

      Reagan: These monkeys don’t even wear shoes.

      Trump: They should go back to where they came from. Hey, Epstein is throwing a party. Who is in?

      .

      08/1/19 9:02 PM | Comment Link

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