• Aloha New York (or, Escape from New York)

    June 12, 2021

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    Posted in: Other Ideas

    It’s always the little things that tell the story. For me and New York, it is the dog poop.

    I keep wanting to love this city but it keeps fighting back. I finally realized it became an abusive relationship and it was time to leave. I no longer live there. My adult kids and quite a few of my neighbors bailed out months ago.

    The final straw was everywhere underfoot. I lived in a “nice” neighborhood. The fact that we so easily accept that we have nice and bad neighborhoods butted up against each other is part of the problem, too. But my neighborhood was nice, mostly residential, with a lot of pets. There was dog poop everywhere such that you learned to look down as you walked and developed a kind of skip and slide move to quickly reroute. You saw the brown skid marks where someone did not nail their landing.

    We had human excrement, too. A nice neighborhood means “good” edible garbage for the leagues of Third World homeless who live off our trash. A lot of people tend to throw out their recyclable cans instead of taking them to the recycle point for coins. The spud boy variety homeless who graze these streets can often scrounge up a few bucks in cans each night. Then they have to poop and there are no public toilets. After corporate Starbucks ordered all its stores to make restrooms available to customers and others, many in sketchy areas just locked up their toilets and stuck on a sign saying “Out of Order.”

    But I can’t blame the dogs for us leveling down. The issue is with the people walking those dogs who decision by decision choose not to pick up the crap. Every day so many neighbors decide not to pick up, leaving it for the people they live near to deal with. “I only care about me,” there is no better summation of why I left New York.


    But alongside the little things are of course the big ones. New York is a failed experiment. Massive public housing estates were built up the east side and northern end of Manhattan, as well as in the outer boroughs, starting in the 1950s. What was once seen as an expedient to get people back on their feet (alongside food stamps and the other A-Z of social welfare) morphed into inter-generational poverty, generations of people who have never really worked and exist on the taxes of those who do. Knowledge of how to best exploit these systems is passed on the way a father might once have passed on his skills as a carpenter to a son.

    Though the causes are complex, the reality is very simple. Poverty lines, like most of the city geographically, are sharply racial in division. People proudly claim New Yorkers speak 70 some languages, but in truth not often with each other. Broadly NYC is one of the most racially diverse places in America, but people live close but not together. Everyone knows where the white-black-brown lines are, usually by street (96th Street near me is a marker) but sometimes by housing complex.

    Even the magnificent Central Park is racially divided. Check real estate prices at the southern end of the Park, the so-called Billionaires Row, versus the northern end where the Park is capped by liquor stores with bars on the windows and walkup tenements poor people have been swapping out since 1900. Chinatown and Greektown sound fun for tourists, but nobody is comfortable admitting we also have Hebrew Village, Caucasianland, and Blacktown.

    The underlying financial system is unsustainable, far too few people (less now with COVID flight) paying too many taxes to support indefinitely too many others. The wealthy still enjoy NYC as long as they stay in their own layer, living hundreds of feet above the city, taking advantage of cheap labor for their needs, and scuttling to cultural events in towncars like cockroaches when the kitchen light flips on. They don’t live in NY, they float above it. Many play at liberalism, supporting the cause of the day espoused by the Daily Show and donating to PBS, but they really have no way to care. They literally do not even see what is happening around them.

    New York had great pizza, enough to have America’s only professional pizza tour guide (though the city has fallen to a disgraceful third place nationally for pizza.) Amazing bagels. Shopping to die for, the museums, the energy. Broadway. But the list of what one has to put up with on a usual and customary basis to access all that grows worryingly longer, even without factoring in COVID. Street crime. Homelessness. A deteriorating public transportation system that gets more expensive to use proportionally as it gets less pleasant to use.

    Take a non-rush hour bus ride and you will almost certainly be forced to navigate someone with mental illness. A police force that has either pretty much given up doing anything more than keeping the combatants apart or is a racist invading army, depending on where you think. I love a great slice of pizza, but I also got beat up on my own block in what the cops said was some sort of gang initiation and I was damn lucky not to get seriously hurt.

    Add in the black slush lagoons that form on every street corner after a heavy snow as the plowed snow accumulates in vast heaps. The co-op apartment system where each building is like a mini-Vatican with its own rules and eccentricities. Some of the highest taxes in the country. Creaky infrastructure that leaks water, steam, gas, and electricity, sometimes all at once, to blend with the street gravy of the homeless.

    And what is the city government focused on? Doing away with the rigorous entrance exams at its elite high schools in hopes of balancing them racially. And of course defunding the police and realigning pronouns. The inmates are literally in charge; NYC did away with bail in favor of catch-and-release in most cases.

    That NYC’s problems exist in some form in other cities across America is nothing to be proud of. Rather, the prevalence is symbolic of America’s stubborn and globally unique insistence on not providing universal healthcare, of maintaining a tax-stock-economic system which brews economic inequality,  not controlling its immigration, and of not creating infrastructure jobs to bust poverty. The focus remains on NYC in part because of the city’s constant bleating that it is the greatest in the world.


    New York has never in its history pretended to be a warm and fuzzy place. It has always challenged its residents to accept a certain amount of guff in return for the shoulder tab “New Yorker.” But the line between that and watching people suffer in the streets is one now for me too far. I’m not alone; people are neither moving in to the city nor staying. A realtor friend in Florida says every phone call these days is from someone in Boston, Chicago, New York or the like. “They ask about schools,” he said. In the last year over 33,000 New Yorkers moved to Florida, a 32 percent increase from the same period the prior year. A drop in the bucket some may say until they realize about that same number of high earners pay 40 percent of the taxes in the city. Florida has no income tax.

    If I sound frustrated, like I should be doing a Jeep commercial for next year’s Super Bowl, it’s because I am. I was born here in New York, and have seen these up and down cycles before. This one seems like it will stick for a awhile. That’s enough right there. But this round, driven by a near completely terrible series of COVID decisions, is so clearly man-made. Most of it did not need to happen but it did. Living through it, I can’t say it made me a better man, a happier man, a more caring man. I don’t like what it did to me. Us.

    New York, like other large cities in the U.S. fails to understand what was done to it via COVID is no temporary change, even if some of the tourists dribble back in. No one will blow a whistle or yell “cut” and everything resets to March 2020. A profound change occurred in America. For the first time in history, where one lives and where one works have been decoupled. New York City no longer holds the record for most billionaires resident. That’s in Beijing now.

    I’ll miss some of the hustle, as well as the symphony of overheard interactions which end with “And f*ck you, too!” And I know New York will be back in some form post-COVID, but it will need in the interim to have a hard conversation with itself along the way. Playground for the rich? Island prison for the poor? Stumbling social experiment while the towers literally deteriorate around us all? As that famous song goes, “it’s up to you New York, Neeeeew Yoooork!” Just do it without me.


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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

  • Recent Comments

    • Rich Bauer said...


      So you cant go home again. Yeah, dogshit is something that gets under your feet, but the shitbags who cant get too rich should be cleaned up too. Until these decaying countries get rid of corrupt shitbags like Putin, Kochsuckers and the ilk, things will only get much worse.

      06/13/21 10:18 AM | Comment Link

    • Joe said...


      I had the “pleasure” of being born in New York City and raised there in the 60s, 70s and 80s, and do have to agree with PVB that “the City” does have some merits. For example I managed to pass the test to get into one of those elite public high schools, which ended up opening up a lot of doors for me. And the instincts I picked up have also served me well over the years, working in other delightful urban environments such as downtown Baghdad on behalf of my Uncle Sam.

      But at the end of the day I came to the same conclusion PVB has – New York City is a dirty, crowded crap hole even when it’s being well governed, and a real cesspool when it’s not. That’s part of the reason why I never went back, though the fact my entire family and the vast majority of my friends also eventually left contributed to that decision. (I do have one old friend who moved to Staten Island and is still there, but as any New Yorker can tell you that’s not *really* part of New York City, despite the Verrazano Bridge and the ferry.) So congrats to you PVB, for finally wising up, and also saying “adios mofos” to the rotten Big Apple!

      P.S. New York style pizza isn’t that hard to find if you look for it, but getting a real bagel *will* be a challenge. Good luck!

      06/13/21 1:21 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...


      PVB- So you kicked the Muley Graves syndrome of staying behind while family and friends moved on through necessity. It’s a huge and beautiful country so it doesn’t have to be Helsinki.

      06/14/21 10:49 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      BUT New York does has some of the best drinking water and greatly reduced air pollution. Dog shit smells in the Rotten Apple but The worst smell I experienced was the hydrogen sulfide (rotten eggs) from the landfills around Moscow. And why should we expect people to care about not picking up dog shit when it is too much to expect them to wear a mask when
      a pandemic was raging. Wear a mask and you won’t smell the dog shit.

      06/14/21 1:22 PM | Comment Link

    • Liz said...


      Spill the beans. Where’d you move to?

      06/16/21 8:53 AM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...


      Liz, I doubt he will reveal where he fled to.

      06/17/21 5:30 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...



      Maybe they don’t teach this in Russia, but ALOHA should give you a clue.

      06/18/21 9:37 AM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...


      Bauer- I didn’t process the Aloha. Will he join the homeless in Hawaii or will it be Djibouti -perhaps an assignment he always lusted for but didn’t get.

      06/18/21 5:56 PM | Comment Link

    • Joe said...


      @Liz and John Poole – My guess is that PVB moved to the DMV (District, Maryland, Virginia) area, so he could better schmooze with his old State Department buddies and snag a cushy retirement job with them. Cha-ching, the holy grail of Fed retirees, since it sure beats working for a living! Unless he moved to Rome, so he could have a better shot at becoming the next Pope – both possibilities seem equally likely to me.

      @ Rich Bauer – Maybe the Internet access is limited at your psychiatric hospital, or they didn’t teach you to do your research at DNC Operative/Troll school, but you *did* read PVB’s post about his impressions of modern day Hawaii, right? Or did you fake taking your meds that day? Or *maybe* you think PVB actually traveled into the “future” of an alternate 1997, where he could rescue the President of the US from the Duke of New York and then escape from the Big Apple? Given your long history of incoherence and deliberately provocative comments on this blog, all three of these possibilities seem equally likely to me as well. AMF. (Which of course stands for ALOHA my friend!)

      06/18/21 6:03 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...


      Joe: indeed- a move closer to the mother ship seems likely but not Arlington or Alexandria- a bit farther out. With his visa expertise he’d be a hit at cocktail parties hosted by the likes of Madeline Albright. He could do a little mock weighing of the host’s heart and then stamp the passport with a special seal to insure safe passage to the next life. He’ll deliver a custom spell for the host’s assurance- a nice flourish to a fun evening. He’ll know the host’s soul is doomed to be gobbled by Ammit but take the money anyway- I would!

      06/19/21 9:03 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...


      Joe (Stalin),

      Why so serious? Dont they teach you at Russia troll school to engage your audience rather than antagonize?

      06/19/21 12:06 PM | Comment Link

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