• Joe Biden Parody Songs

    February 13, 2024

    Posted in: Democracy

    Did you know there was a whole genre out there of Joe Biden parody tunes? Most are quite professional, and riff off popular songs to mock the president. Some focus on Joe himself, falling here, sniffing a little girl’s hair there, while others prey on poor Hunter Biden, forced to make sleazy deals with Ukraine and China just to earn a living. Let’s take a look.

    One of the best is “Walk Like Joe Biden”, an A.I. tour de force that makes it seems like the Bangles are recreating their 1980s hit song “Walk Like an Egyptian” only with new lyrics mocking old Joe (do yourself a favor and follow the links with a right click, so they open in a new window and you can get back here for the rest of the list.) The video unfolds with a montage of Joe slipping ad falling in various locales, and Joe looking befuddled at numerous podiums. Then there are the lyrics — “the American president is doomed, the little old man can hardly move” and a shout out that Joe’s chances of being re-elected are “dangling “just like Hunter’s cigarette.” The song warns “if you want to know where it stops it ends with dementia and the cops.” The meta-gag of course are instructions on how to walk like Joe, back stiff, arms locked down, feet shuffling, as events spiral past. You could watch any Biden blooper reel for much of the same effect, but this has music that sticks in your head. Five stars!

    Crossing musical styles is “C’mon Man,” a sing-song pseudo rap A.I. extravaganza. The kicker here is each stupid thing Biden raps is an actual Biden quote (“You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier”) all the misspent words and jangled phrases, plus the boasts about Cornpop and Joe’s many careers as a truck driver and Olive Garden server. The music part is just not as strong as “Walk Like an Egyptian” but it is good enough. Four stars.

    When the Coasters first recorded “Yakety Yak” in 1958 they never had this in mind. The musical quality picks up with the familiar tune, and the “Yakety Yak” visuals run through the now-familiar shots of Biden falling down Air Force One’s stairs and Biden falling down on a platform and Biden falling down… you get it. The singer has the nom de guerre of Parody Whitney, and has produced several Biden song parodies. One good one is “An Old Man’s Time” sung appropriately to the New Year’s tune “Auld Lang Syne” with some out-of-place drum machine in the background. Talking about Joe’s penchant for serial groping, the song smiles and says “at least he’s too slow to give chase.”

    Next up is the holiday favorite “Frosty the Snow Man,” with its rhyming Biden-esque intro line “…was a geriatric soul, with befuddled eyes and a curious nose.” By the second verse the “Snow Man” has become “the slow man” and the song is off running through the now-familiar Biden memes. Not inappropriately the visuals contrast scenes from a befuddled “Elf” movie with a befuddled Biden, unfortunately not a movie but all-too-real life. Finally there’s “I’m Too Sketchy for this (White) House” sung to the classic Right Said Fred tune “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt.” Four Stars for all.

    Sticking with the classics is a wicked “Wizard of Oz” parody featuring Biden as the Scarecrow (“no brains”) and Nancy Pelosi as the Wicked Witch who is melted away by song’s end. Along the way Scarecrow meets up with an earnest AOC as Dorothy (clearly the best use of CGI since the technology was invented) and, wait for it, Donald Trump as the Great and Powerful Oz on his fiery throne. Joe as the Scarecrow lip syncing to the original tune “If I Only Had a Brain” is worth the price of admission. Another four stars for this one, folks.

    Funnier lyrics but lower production values hold back another worthy take on “Wizard of Oz” this one again with Biden as the Scarecrow. You know the song, “If I Only Had a Brain” but try it now with these words: “I could concentrate for hours, my presidential powers, to compensate Ukraine” and to handle Hunter, “To avoid repercussions I could pin it on the Russians, if I only had a brain.” Three stars.

    If you are old enough or cool enough to remember the 1970s, you must remember the band Foghat, known for their head banging stadium concerts. The guitar rocker “Slow Ride” becomes “Slow Biden” with a righteous drum line to carry you through. In addition to the great music, this one scores with some Biden clips rarely seen (“If you’re having trouble choosing between me and Trump you ain’t black”) and plenty of more familiar sniffing, groping, and stumbling visuals. Two and a half stars, man.

    If it is Hunter you’re after there is no better place to start then “Crack in the Cradle: The Joe and Hunter Biden Story” sung to the tune of Harry Chapin’s immortal “Cat’s in the Cradle.” As Hunter croons “you know I’m gonna be like you, Dad,” you may even tear up a smidgen with the understanding the apple does not fall very far from the tree.  A stand-out line is the chorus: “And there’s crack in his cradle and a spoon in his bib, Little Hunter Biden had whores in his crib.” Kinda says it all. Four stars despite low production values and some NSFW words for the clever lyrics. Similar comments on another Hunter Biden parody song, based on “Old Man” by Neil Young — “Old man, take a look at my life, I’m a lot like you…” Also, almost inevitable, is a take off of Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine” starring Hunter Biden and that mystery bag of marching powder found in the White House, and another version. Then there’s “Hunter Bought A Gun,”a “Janie’s Got A Gun” by Aerosmith parody. The Bidens give you an awful lot to work with.

    To be fair, there are three Trump parody songs for every one Biden parody, so for balance try “I Fought the Law (and the Law Won)” for its genius-level editing of Trump clips to give the impression the Orange Man is singing. The video gives you the song straight and makes its jokes via the visuals, of Trump dancing, the raid on Mar-a-Lago, and more. The uber joke, with the song’s title mirroring Trump’s legal woes, scores again and again. Similar comments for the one-joke (but it’s a good one joke) parody of Trump appearing to sing “I Will Survive.” Five huge stars.

    Check out “The Donald Called Down to Georgia,” a parody of all that post-election kerfuffle now in the courts, sung of course to the tune of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” Try out these lyrics: “The Donald called down to Georgia he was looking for some votes to steal, he was in a bind ’cause he was way behind, and he was tryin’ to make a deal.” Some NSFW lyrics here and there, and a hunk of decent fiddle playing carry this one. Three stars.

    Honorable mention to a brilliantly understated version of the Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime” with Trump’s head superimposed over real singer David Bryne doing that dance. The lines from the song about “how did I get here?” ring especially poignant but they left out the classic line of Trump/Bryne asking “Is this my beautiful wife?” Same as it ever was. And don’t miss Donald Trump sings “Leaving On A Jet Plane” by John Denver with the sad goodbye lyrics shown over images of boxes of classified documents being hauled out of the White House. If that amuses you, don’t miss “(Wasted Away Again in) Mar-a-Lagoville” with some rougher editing around Trump himself singing the Jimmy Buffet classic — “some people claim that it’s Putin to blame, but no, it still ain’t my fault.”

     

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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

  • Recent Comments

    • Rich Bauer said...

      1

      And you thought the new Daily Show with Jon Stewart was boring.

      02/13/24 4:47 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      2

      Come on PVB. If Neil Postman were alive a follow up to his 1985 AMUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH and watching the clueless smug John Stewart reboot on Comedy Central would have to be: PARODYING OURSELVES INTO A BEMUSED STUPOR.

      02/15/24 10:35 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      3

      Donnie Diapers rode the escalator all the way down. The fraudster just lost $360,000,000. The corrupt clown only shot himself on Fifth Avenue.

      02/16/24 3:15 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      4

      Donnie Diapers has to sell all those top secret documents he stole for Pennies on the dollar now.

      02/16/24 5:15 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      5

      Donnie, the Great Exaggerator

      Oh-oh, yes, I’m the great Exaggerator
      Pretending that I’m doing well
      My need is such, I pretend too much
      I’m lonely, but no one can tell
      Oh-oh, yes, I’m the great Exaggerator
      Adrift in a world of my own
      I played the game but to my real shame
      You’ve left me to grieve all alone
      Too real is this feeling of make-believe
      Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal
      (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
      Yes, I’m the great EXAGGERATOR
      Just laughin’ and gay like a clown
      I seem to be what I’m not, you see
      I’m wearing my heart like a crown
      Pretending that you’re still around
      Too real is this feeling of make-believe
      Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal
      (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
      Yes, I’m the GREAT EXAGGERATOR
      Just laughin’ and gay like a clown
      I seem to be what I’m not, you see
      I’m wearing my heart like a crown
      Pretending that you’re still around

      02/16/24 8:07 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      6

      Donnie Diapers Badfinger Money

      If you want it, here it is, come and get it
      Mmh, make your mind up fast
      If you want it, any time, I can give it
      But you’d better hurry ’cause it may not last

      Did I hear you say that there must be a catch?
      Will you walk away from a fool and his money?
      If you want it, here it is, come and get it
      But you’d better hurry ’cause it’s goin’ fast

      If you want it, here it is, come and get it
      Mmh, make your mind up fast
      If you want it, any time, I can give it
      But you’d better hurry ’cause it may not last

      Did I hear you say that there must be a catch?
      Will you walk away from a fool and his money?
      Sonny
      If you want it, here it is, come and get it
      But you’d better hurry ’cause it’s goin’ fast
      You’d better hurry ’cause it’s goin’ fast

      Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
      Fool and his money
      Sonny
      If you want it, here it is, come and get it
      But you’d better hurry ’cause it’s goin’ fast
      You’d better hurry ’cause it’s goin’ fast
      You’d better hurry ’cause it’s goin’ fast

      02/17/24 11:17 AM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      7

      Bauer- I remember PVB saying awhile back that Trump’s financial shenanigans were common practice among most New York property owning plutocrats. Does that mean they’ll be leaving NYCity if they become scrutinized?

      02/17/24 2:20 PM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      8

      JP,

      When I met Donnie Diapers and his first wife, I sensed the rumors were true he was”low-rent” in the Big Apple real estate world. The smart money guys in the city would never make such stupid mistakes. Diapers was cheap and hired the cheapest finance guys. The smart money guys will fleece him when he has to sell. All he will have left is that dump in Florida.

      02/17/24 8:51 PM | Comment Link

    • John Poole said...

      9

      Bauer- if Trump retires to his castle in Florida maybe he’ll end up like Phil Spector in his Alhambra, California mini castle charged with an “accidental” murder. Strange things happen to very strange people.

      02/18/24 9:03 AM | Comment Link

    • Rich Bauer said...

      10

      JP,

      The irony of Melania sleeping with Donnie for the first time in forever and his heart gives out like Nelson Rockefeller.

      02/18/24 11:08 PM | Comment Link

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