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How to Survive Thanksgiving 2025 with Liberal Family
It all starts with a text: “Can’t wait to see everyone for Thanksgiving! This year, let’s keep it civil!” You remember last year, when someone “accidentally” sent your MAGA cap down the disposer. You know the text was not intended for your cousin who live streams her dietary needs (“I guess no one remembers — again — I’m vegan.”) The text was aimed squarely at you, the family’s only conservative.
Every November families across America who haven’t spoken to each other since last Thanksgiving gather everyone under one roof. You may think this is about cranberries and gravy, but really it’s about not talking politics while everyone wants to, as if a political ceasefire and a political battlefield decided to have a baby. The other 364 days a year the country is divided. Today, it is grandma’s table that is divided, the one with ailing Grandpa Joe who only gets about half the jokes on the Daily Show anymore and Aunt Lisa, who brought the gluten-free Jello salad in an NPR tote bag. It is gonna be a long day, because Thanksgiving isn’t just a meal, it is a ritual of arriving after noon, watching the Detroit Lions lose on TV, and snacking, before a 17 course feast consisting of at least two dishes no one touches (green beans and that Jello salad.) This is not going to be like the time you first heard Dark Side of the Moon.
But this year is different in one important way. This year we won. No more Biden in the White House, no more Hillary, no more serial impeachments and Russiagate to get your cousin with the nose ring to predict Trump will be out of office in a few weeks. Nope, this is our turn, our guy in the Oval Office. The key here for you is the pivot, the deflection, being the bigger man. You already won the next three years worth of Thanksgivings, so why bother with explaining China policy to some bored undergrad relative who also doesn’t want to be there? It’s not like you’re going to end up in anyone’s will after all this anyway. You won’t be alone: surveys show two out of five Americans plan to bite their tongues this Thanksgiving, though it’s unclear if they mean holding back or are actually looking forward to the pain. More than half of Americans say talking about politics with people they disagree with is stressful and frustrating. So to help, here are some tips.
The trick to disarming liberal relatives isn’t to argue more effectively about ICE, it’s to arrive bearing gut busting amounts of carbohydrates. Nothing disarms a political privateer faster than a homemade pie, even if you had to buy it at Whole Foods and everyone can see you replated it. You could quote Ron Paul all day and your aunt will still frown, but show up with a good dessert and suddenly you’re “such a sweet boy.” Save the snark like “voting for Trump doesn’t mean I eat puppies, dammit” for much, much later. Like New Year’s.
When the conversation turns to politics, because, see, your other cousin read this article in the Atlantic, it is time for the strategic nod. Don’t worry when she is staring directly at you and muttering “…And that is how democracy dies until we get a woman president,” just nod like “I heard you and I am chewing. A lot of chewing.” This is your Marvel move, engaged, even thoughtful, and open-minded. You chew. You think of Rush lyrics from 2112. You imagine what you’d reply on X. Think judo not boxing. Keep in mind this hack works better with some gnarly turkey leg meat in your mouth than with a forkful of mashed potatoes, so eat strategically. Remember, your cousin probably thinks her earnestness is genuine and she is saving democracy between bites.
Don’t show the table anything from your phone. No one has ever changed their political mind because of a social media post, and they certainly won’t do it over stuffing. Also, don’t forward anything that proves a point. Of course you were right. Just smile.
Bring along the nonpartisan version of Uno. The red and blue cards become orange and purple, and there’s a veto card that skips the turn of a politically chatty player and makes him change the subject.
Remember the dog doesn’t care about politics. The dog loves you unconditionally because it cares not for tax policy or SNAP benefits as long as it gets a bowl of horrid dry crumbly Costco dog food once in awhile. Even if he’s not your childhood pet, sneak him bits of turkey breast under the table and it’ll be cool later when you need him, as dogs agree with everyone who drops food. When things get too intense, simply spring up and announce “Looks like the dog needs a walk” and retreat. You’ll return far less concerned about the discussion, which has shifted to Kamala-Buttgieg chances in 2028. No dog? Step outside for that important work Zoom you just remembered. “No, grandpa, I can’t believe what’s happening in this country, a work call on Thanksgiving, what has this world come to?”
Try “coping ahead.” Before arriving for Thanksgiving, visualize a bingo-style card of things you might hear that would otherwise provoke you, stuff like “Democracy is literally on the line,” or “Fox isn’t a real news station,” or “how could anyone have voted for someone convicted of 34 felonies” or anything to do with Orange Man (center square.) Just be glad words like “mansplaining” and “whataboutism” seem to have run their course. Each time something said does hit on your card, enjoy a small sip of eggnog, or something from that bottle of grossly sweet sherry that’s been on the table since the Carter administration.
Timing is everything. As the table dissolves over coffee into competing monologues stolen from Colbert, slip away and collect your jacket. If someone tries to rope you into “one more thing about January 6th,” feign a sudden fascination with helping wash the dishes. Usually the serious political relatives are still at the table while the others move into the kitchen, relieved another Thanksgiving has ended without 911. Your exit line should be light as the door bumps you on the way out, something like “next year, let’s all agree to just fight over football.”
Scientists say sharing a meal releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone that promotes forgiveness. You will put that to the test this Thanksgiving; that’s better than pretending you have the flu and skipping out. And remember, our democracy, like Thanksgiving, survives not because we agree, but because we keep showing up to talk to each other. Go Lions!
Copyright © 2024. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.
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Rich Bauer said...
1The family crazy uncle dynamic existed way before DONNIE DEMENTIA.
11/26/25 8:45 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
2This is why you sit the demented uncle at the children’s table:
“The Creeps at the Failing New York Times are at it again. Trump won the 2024 Presidential Election . Trump settled 8 Wars, 48 New Stock Market Highs, our Economy is Great, and our Country is RESPECTED AGAIN all over the World, respected like never before. The last Administration had the Highest Inflation in history – Trump already brought that down to normal, and prices, including groceries, are coming down. To do this requires a lot of Work and Energy, and Trump never worked so hard in his life. Yet despite all of this the Radical Left Lunatics in the soon to fold New York Times did a hit piece on Trump that he is losing Energy, despite facts that show the exact opposite. They know this is wrong, as is almost every thing that they write about him, including election results, ALL PURPOSELY NEGATIVE. This cheap “RAG” is truly an “ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE.” The writer of the story, Katie Rogers, who is assigned to write only bad things about me, is a third rate reporter who is ugly, both inside and out. Despite all of this, Trump has
The highest Poll Numbers, ever, and with record setting investment being made in America, they should only go up. There will be a day when Trump runs low on Energy, it happens to everyone, but with a PERFECT PHYSICAL EXAM AND A COMPREHENSIVE COGNITIVE TEST (“That was aced”) JUST RECENTLY TAKEN, it certainly is not now! GOD BLESS AMERICA & MAKE AMERICA…
Mother: Children, keep the knives away from Uncle Donald.
11/26/25 9:06 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
3Items for discussion on the Family Turkey Day menu:
1. No coffee today because of the Trump Tariff Tax
2. Whose turkey gets stuffed when the GOP protects sex predators in the Epstein Files
3. Virginia ham and New Jersey cranberries too expensive, so anybody want more ramen
4. Trump and HEGSETH wont be able to leave the table without ankle bracelets soon
5. Sorry Donnie, but Bolsonaro won’t be coming for turkey today.
11/26/25 10:16 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
4While Murder Inc GOP -Felon Donnie Dementia and HeadUpHisAss-have ordered the murder of a hundred uncharged smugglers in boats off South America, only 5% of people detained by ICE since October 1 have violent criminal convictions, 3/4 had no criminal convictions at all. Most “criminals” had immigration, traffic, and vice offenses.
Swallowed that with your Turkey, Peter.
11/26/25 10:42 AM | Comment Link
John Poole said...
5PVB: You should have messed with the cousin who feels democracy can’t be saved until there is woman POTUS with, “Why stop there? We need a woman Supreme Deity to save democracy on the cosmic scale.
11/26/25 11:11 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
6JP,
On this Thanksgiving Day perhaps Turkey could make US and Russia come to the table by proposing an Ukraine War ceasefire supported by an international peace force. Come on Putin, don’t be a grinch. Trump needs this to distract from the Epstein Files.
11/27/25 8:55 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
7Donnie Dementia forgetting MAGA don’t want regime change
Dems must be ecstatic that DD Day Venezuela is actually happening. Guess DD didn’t listen to MAGA MARGE, that his dimwit supporters don’t want more wars. So you go, DD. Get US humiliated in another war without end. It will be the end of MAGA, MURDER INC GOP, and the oilygarchs who crave Vene oil.
11/28/25 10:31 AM | Comment Link
John Poole said...
8Jeselnik: “I have a friend who works for the FBI. (Pause)
He pretends to be a twelve year old girl. Goes on the internet and chats with child molesters all day.
(Pause) I don’t know what he does at the FBI but(voice trails off).”
OK, let’s have a chuckle occasionally here.
11/28/25 12:40 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
9Hey, we’re the good guys
In early September, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth ordered a U.S. strike force command to kill everyone on board a suspected drug-trafficking boat in the Caribbean, The Washington Post reported, leading to a second strike on a pair of incapacitated survivors that appears to constitute a war crime.
“The order was to kill everybody,” one source with knowledge of the operation told the Post.
The Sept. 2 attack represented the first of many strikes on alleged drug traffickers in the region, even though fentanyl — a prime contributor to overdose deaths — does not tend to come from Central and South America.
U.S. military commanders were apparently shocked to see two survivors clinging to the flaming boat once smoke from the first strike cleared. The second strike, apparently to comply with Hegseth’s instructions, reportedly killed the two survivors.
To date, the Trump administration’s hotly controversial strikes on supposed drug boats in the Caribbean and the Pacific Ocean have left some 80 people dead, although little is known about their identities or whether they were, in fact, trafficking drugs.
11/28/25 8:14 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
10HeadUpHis Ass orders military to kill survivors in the water, while Donnie Dementia is going after people who dare to tell military not to follow illegal orders.
11/28/25 8:30 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
11HeadUpHisAss just changed the name of the Department of War to Murder Inc. Imagine in 2029, Prez Newsom, citing the Trump Supreme Court Prez Immunity Act, makes the dry drunk and the rest of the murderers swim for it.
11/28/25 9:07 PM | Comment Link
John Poole said...
12Bauer- the most humane rule of war or criminal activity is clear and simple: no survivors, no surrendering, no POW camps nor recovery hospitals. Once you engage in combat or criminal activity it is a fight to the death. That clear ethos is an irrevocable contract/agreement. Anything less is perverse and an aberration in the cosmos. Once understood everything becomes very fair.
11/29/25 10:23 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
13Donnie Dementia let his mask slip that he is no different than that other cult leader Jim Jones. The demented draft dodger’s final solution is Kill Them All.
11/29/25 1:14 PM | Comment Link
John Poole said...
14Oh, the irony and the…..eventual”blowback” (Chalmers Johnson) The recent DC shooter of two deployed National Guard’persons’ in DC was vetted back in 2021 to enter the USA after he had been suckered into being a CIA goon for his formative years in Afghanistan. The CIA spotted a kid who would do the dirty work for a foreign invader. But then the CIA- lacking awareness of eventual and possible negative blowback- offered him asylum here in the USA after obligatory complimentary vetting. Once a psycho always a psycho.
11/29/25 5:06 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
15JP,
People forget Oswald was a stooge for the CIA too.
11/29/25 9:27 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
16JP,
As Donnie Dementia is not going to survive the 2026 electoral wipeout, expect him to pardon Putin for his war crimes so Putin offers him political asylum for DD’s international crimes(too many to note here). DD is facing trial in the ICC on over 100 charges of homicide, as well as bribery for issuing pardons to the Honduran narco-terrorist politico.
11/29/25 10:25 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
17HeadUpHisAss chances of survival as Sec of Death are less than the those sailors shot off South America. The fool is gonna have to testify before congress about giving orders to KILL EVERYBODY. IMAGINE Senator Kelly will lead the questioning. One lie and he GONE.
Recent poll of active duty military shows 75 % think Head UpHisAss is a fucking idiot. The other 25 % think he is just an idiot.
11/30/25 3:06 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
18Peter is hard at work writing his deep thoughts on the moral injury of our poor military blowing people out of the water. Right.
12/1/25 8:19 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
19Here, Peter, I will even help with the title:
Elect a clown, expect a circus. Elect a psychopath, expect murder on the high seas.
12/1/25 11:52 AM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
20Donnie Dementia, not one to be outdone by Head UpHis Ass renaming the DOD the Dept of War, has signed an executive order that the country will henceforth be known as Trump Town, in a sign his cult wants to Kill them All.
Jim Jones: That cult guy is just sick.
12/1/25 12:04 PM | Comment Link
Rich Bauer said...
21Will Mitch Bradley survive until Christmas?
Donnie Dementia is either throwing Admiral Mitch under the bus or driving the bus over him to avoid him and HeadUPHIS ASS being fingered for war crimes as the guys who MADE THE ORDER to kill two survivors hanging onto the bombed vessel. If Mitch is gonna sing for Congress, he may get the Epstein Treatment. HeadUPHis Ass is on record wanting to KILL EVERYBODY and posted a turtle death cartoon to remove all doubt. The problem for DD and HeadUpHisAss is Mitch ain’t the only witness to their crimes. Senator Mark Kelly is gonna have these criminals in his sights. Let their lies sink them.
12/1/25 4:23 PM | Comment Link