• He Lies, You Die (in Iraq): Troops to Stay Forever

    September 7, 2011 // Comments Off on He Lies, You Die (in Iraq): Troops to Stay Forever

    Bush, before scurrying away from Hague prosecutors, signed an agreement with Iraq to withdraw all American troops by 12/31/2011 (the mother of all New Year’s Eves). Obama, as a candidate, said he would honor this agreement. Zero US soldiers in Iraq by 12/31/2011. Yeah! Hope! Change! Nobel Peace Prize!

    “If we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am President, it is the first thing I will do,” Obama said with his fingers crossed behind his back in the fall of 2007. “I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank.”

    Of course, he lied.

    Plans all along were to keep US troops in Iraq, to secure permanent bases there (where has the US invaded and not kept bases? Yeah, I know, Vietnam, but where else?), run spec ops kill missions and of course train Iraqis to use the expensive weapons we will sell them. Needless to say, the troops would also be around to threaten Iran and Syria, serve as a counter-coup force and pressure Iraq when needed to do whatever slimy chores of empire were needed. This was going to be the take-away from eight years of otherwise pointless war.

    The numbers kicked around to do all this changed, falling quickly from some 35,000 to a commonly-accepted 10,000 soldiers. All that was needed was serious coin to pay for them (estimated at $5-10 billion a year times forever+infinity) and Iraqi buy-in.

    Sensing he has neither, rumors are now afloat on Fox and elsewhere that Obama is going to go with some 3000 soldiers, preempting any Iraqi decision/refusal. He’ll call them trainers and the Iraqi government will reluctantly accept them in return for God-knows-what kind of bribes and promises (check Wikileaks in a couple of months). Obama gets a toe hold on permanent bases, with the hope of cranking up the headcount quietly at a later date when America is distracted by a new season of X-Factor.

    One entertaining factoid: Fox reports that the only administration official fighting for at least 10,000 to stay in Iraq at the end of the year was Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Despite recruiting an army of over 5500 mercenary orcs to protect her staff in Baghdad, Hils knows the troops would also be handy when it comes time to evacuate the World’s Largest Embassy (c).

    Fox (again) quoted deeply-closeted freak Senator Lindsey Graham, Idiot-S.C., as Tweeting that reducing the troop presence to 3000 “would put at risk all the United States has fought for in Iraq.”

    Obama will for sure promise that none of the 3000 soldiers he wants to station in Vietnam Iraq forever will ever be killed or injured. Do we have to start saying this line again? How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?

    Under this plan, they’ll just keep dying. Bring them home Obama.

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    Posted in Democracy, Embassy/State, Iraq, Military