Mahdi Army in Baghdad an “Increased Inconvenience”

May 26, 2011

Tags: Bond, Jaish al-Mahdi, JAM, Mahdi Army, Sadr
Posted in: Democracy, Embassy/State, Iran, Iraq, Other Ideas

Dear Mrs. Robert “SecDef” Gates: Does begging work with you? I’m just asking because your husband is basically going around sort of begging the Iraqis to “invite” the US to continue to occupy their country.

You’ll recall we invaded Iraq in 2003 to get the WMDs, er, to get rid of Saddam. Saddam of course was gotten rid of in every practical way by summer 2003, and executed in 2006, but we just stayed on after that for some reason and hey presto, here it is mid-2011 already. Your hubby keeps asking Iraq to let us stay longer, even though they keep saying no thanks. He has to have learned that kind of behavior somewhere, so I thought I’d check with you. If needed, I can also recommend a good couples’ therapist in the DC area.

While Bob still can’t get any love, the al Sadr experience cast its vote against further US occupation today, with a march of some 2000 Mahdi Army guys through scenic Sadr City, watched by some 70,000 spectators. The marchers represented 15 out of Iraq’s 18 provinces.

During the rally, the Mahdi Army showed off new uniforms bearing the Iraqi flag to “express the unity of Iraqis.” The Mahdi Army, formally Jaish al-Mahdi or JAM, was formerly known by their black pajama-like attire. Some caring Americans at the Embassy thus referred to them as the “JAMies.”

Muqtada Sadr himself (who takes the creepiest photos ever, total Bond super villain) spent a few years as a student in Iran while the US noodled around wrecking things and then trying to reconstruct them in Iraq, returning home for an extended spring break this year. The Mahdi Army, who had been at war with the US, had melted back into the population following an ass-kicking/cease fire in 2008. Sadr has promised to set his Army back to killing Americans full-time if US forces do not withdraw by December 31, 2011, as both Presidents Bush and Obama have promised with their finger crossed behind their backs.

One bright note: the always optimistic US Embassy (what do those guys take?) did issue a notice to Americans in Iraq about the march today, not that a whole lot of Americans hang out in Sadr City anyway. The notice said:

The Embassy of the United States in Iraq is following reports of possible protests that may take place throughout Baghdad from May 23 to May 27, 2011. There may be increased inconveniences and security risks to US citizens throughout Iraq on these days.

Ah yes, the magic of words: the arrival of the Mahdi Army on the streets of Baghdad may cause “increased inconvenience” for Americans. Stick around for the inconveniences commencing January 1, 2012 if the US does not pack up and just leave Iraq.

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