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  • Why We Lost in Afghanistan

    March 14, 2012 // Comments Off on Why We Lost in Afghanistan

    From the US perspective, a soldier in uniform, representing the United States to the people he encounters in Afghanistan, murders sixteen people including nine children and it is called an unfortunate, isolated incident. When the US accidentally blows up sixteen Afghan civilians with a 500 pound bomb, to the US it is just another day at the office, “collateral damage.”

    Meanwhile, only 36 hours after the murder of those Afghan children, the US Embassy in Kabul sends out this chirpy Tweet:



    It is obvious that inside the Embassy, as witnessed by their most public of faces, that the incident is already old news.

    Speaking to her collected Ambassadors, SecState Hillary Clinton said the same day without irony “Only America has the reach, resources & relationships to anchor a more peaceful and prosperous world.”

    Each time one of these horrors occurs in Afghanistan, the US response is that it is an isolated incident. How many isolated incidents must accrue before we acknowledge we have a collective problem?

    It is obvious to everyone in Afghanistan that the US really could care less about burning Korans, pissing on Afghan dead or even the murder of children, except perhaps as a PR issue to be managed.

    That is why we lost in Afghanistan. Time, now, after twelve years of war, to call it quits.



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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

    Posted in Afghanistan, Democracy, Embassy/State

    Wanna Bet? Murder = Terror, Murder =Apology in Afghanistan

    March 11, 2012 // 7 Comments »

    Following the brutal murder by an American soldier of nine Afghan children and several Afghan women and children, the US Embassy in Kabul issued a cautionary message, stating:

    There is a risk of anti-American feelings and protests in coming days.


    I am willing to offer a bet with anyone willing to take it that no US Government official will characterize this cold blooded murder as “terrorism.” I am willing also to bet that had an Afghan killed American children and women, US Government officials would immediately characterize that cold blooded murder as “terrorism.”

    I am willing to offer a bet with anyone willing to take it that US Government officials will apologize, as if that apology ends the issue (see Koran burning, peeing on Afghan dead, etc.). I am willing also to bet that had an Afghan killed American children and women US Government officials would not consider an apology the end of the issue. We’d bomb the shit out of someone in an act of vengeance.

    I am willing to offer a bet with anyone willing to take it that had these Afghan children and women been killed “accidentally” by a 500 pound bomb dropped from a US warplane thousands of feet above them we would not hear much of an apology at all.

    I am willing to offer a bet with anyone willing to take it that US Government officials will announce an investigation into the soldier who did the shooting, and that his ultimate punishment, if any (see Haditha) will be less than the punishment Bradley Manning will receive for his alleged Wikileaks disclosures.

    Any takers on these bets, hit me up in the Comments section below.




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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

    Posted in Afghanistan, Democracy, Embassy/State

    Obama to Apologize to Afghanistan Again, and Again, and…

    February 28, 2012 // 1 Comment »

    Yo Reggie, wassup? Michelle is out of town, you up for some hoops?

    Maybe later Mr. President. It looks like you may need to apologize again to Afghanistan. On Saturday, an Afghan employee of the Interior Ministry shot two U.S. officers inside the ministry’s Kabul headquarters, then walked out unmolested. On Sunday, a protester threw a grenade at a group of American troops, injuring six. It is all getting worse sir, not better.

    What? Didn’t I already apologize for the Koran bonfire thing? What more can I say? I even called that joker Karzai and said I’m sorry.

    Yes sir, that’s part of the problem. It seems that most Afghans do not like him or trust him. Since he won election through a rigged process the US silently endorsed, he isn’t as popular there as we like to think.

    Got it, kinda a Romney-like dude.

    I guess sir. Anyway sir, we’ve done some research, and it seems the Afghanis would like you yo apologize for a few more things before they’ll settle down. I’ve made a list:

    Sorry we invaded your country, occupied it and kept a war going there for almost twelve years. We used to call it a war of liberation but it seems what you’d mostly like is for us to leave.

    Sorry we’re too much of a bully to allow you to choose your own futures.

    Sorry that we’ve mucked things up so bad you now prefer the Taliban.

    Sorry that that war includes secret prisons, renditions and torture while we claim we are bringing democracy.

    Sorry we abused your people at the same prison we burned the Korans.

    Sorry about the Afghans who will never leave Guantanamo (alive).

    Really sorry about all those women, children, old people and wedding guests our drones keep wiping out going after al Qaeda number 3 every other week.

    Sorry that according to the UN, Afghan civilian deaths in our war have hit a five year high, though actually the deaths are probably higher than even those recorded.

    Sorry that over the course of 12 years the war has also spread into Pakistan.

    Sorry that it was us that actually armed the Taliban in the 1980’s, called them freedom fighters and invited them to the Reagan White House.

    Sorry our army is still squatting on your country, with over 90,000 troops still in-country.

    Sorry our Marines peed on your dead.




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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

    Posted in Afghanistan, Democracy, Embassy/State

    Iraq: Now with More Democracy (and Cookies)

    February 23, 2012 // Comments Off on Iraq: Now with More Democracy (and Cookies)

    What was to be America’s 51st state, still the proud location of the World’s Largest and Most Expensive Embassy without Purpose, Iraq took some more baby steps toward democracy.

    Today’s democratic acts included a series of explosions and shootings that killed 44 people and injured more than 200 in Baghdad. The bombings were all coordinated/timed and took in both Sunni and Shia neighborhoods. 2012 is well-placed to outperform 2011 in civilian deaths.

    Luckily the World’s Largest and Most Expensive Embassy without Purpose wasn’t just shuffling papers as these terrible acts unfolded across Iraq. After what was no doubt hours of consultations, the Embassy released a statement saying it “strongly condemns” what it called terrorist attacks. The US Embassy also continues its planning for a concert in honor of Black History Month, as well as a reception and art exhibit featuring five Iraqi artists who took part in programs sponsored by the U.S. government. According to the Embassy, “The event not only created opportunities for people-to-people interactions but also celebrated our shared values, including freedom of expression. Such interactions are crucial to forging the strong bonds of friendship and mutual respect that we seek.”

    So, it is apparent that the $5 billion a year it costs to operate the World’s Largest and Most Expensive Embassy without Purpose in Baghdad is not going to waste. At least they aren’t burning Korans. Pass the cookies, please.



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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

    Posted in Afghanistan, Democracy, Embassy/State

    Counterinsurgency Tips: A New Series

    February 21, 2012 // 3 Comments »

    Well, it looks like my previous posting of counterinsurgency tips was not enough, as some ‘Mericans a’fightin’ the ever-lasting gobsmacker of a war in Afghanistan just thought it would be OK to burn ’em up a bunch of unneeded Korans. This is a perfectly normal kind of mistake, since Americans always burn unneeded flags bibles garbage.

    A Western military official said the Korans were removed from a library at a detention center because they contained extremist messages. The reporters covering this story had no curiosity about exactly what that meant and so did not ask any questions as they took down dictation from the White House.

    One more fucking time now, and pay attention:

    Burning Korans is bad.

    Using Nazi symbolism is bad:



    Peeing on Taliban, also bad.



    It all reminds people of this:



    Any questions, please see your chain of command for more information! Otherwise, continue to follow the plan of the day.




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    Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. The views expressed here are solely those of the author(s) in their private capacity.

    Posted in Afghanistan, Democracy, Embassy/State

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